Living Dead...

Well, today was the day...

Mitch left for Iraq this morning in a hurried rush. We spent most of the night laying awake in bed, and at 4am when the alarm went off, he kept hitting the snooze button. I don't know if it was just his sub conscience, not wanting to leave, or just the lack of sleep. Needless to say, he arrived at his company late, with no time for a good "see you later". As I watched him walk into the building, I could actually feel my heart breaking a little. Maddox and I sat in the car for about a half hour, I just stared at the doors... I guess hoping to see him again. But that was it, he was gone. Right now, I am in a dazed state of mind. Lack of sleep and not wanting it to be true has left me feeling like a zombie. I'm told this is normal, one day... not too far from now... It will hit me like a semi truck and I'll breakdown, but I'll pick up the pieces and hold them in a safe place until he comes home to Maddox and I.

I would say the hardest part so far today, being around Maddox. He has no idea what is going on, and he reminds me so much of Mitch... Maddox standing up looking at the pictures and saying "DaDa"... I swear he won't forget that amazing man, and when Mitch comes home Maddox will stretch out his arms and say "Daddy". Sorry, to be so depressing... typing helps, it puts things into perspective.

On a lighter note, we spent the best night together as a family last night. Maddox got some extra loving... he even discovered his "bird" in the bathtub, which was the cutest thing ever! Mitch and I sat out on the patio and talked.... talked for hours... He called a few people to say goodbye and then we just sat there, really no need for words at that point. I love that man with all I have to give, and I can't wait for the day when he will be in our arms again!